February 2012
girl-detective asked: I think we could stand to make a fortune in the relatively untapped Anti-Semitic Confetti market.
STM
I know who you are.
That being said, if you decide to do it, I will grieve you for the day the news hits that you’re gone.
The day after? All respect and pity I have for you is non-existent.
You have children, Goddamnit.
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"Hey Bruh! How we doin' man? Its been a while...
”Take it easy bro!”
Who would play me in a movie?
You tell me.
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She's a sad tomato...
She’s three miles of bad road.
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Anonymous asked: Are you gay? You're gay, aren't you? You've got to be gay.
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mrsock asked: What's the one ingredient you hate on your sub?
titsandsass asked: michael phelp's commercials are better than yours.
chronically-awesome asked: Dear Jared, I know you're all about the Subway. So, my only question is, do you have a six inch or a footlong in your pants?
halfbakedidea asked: How long are your feet?
bumpcrud asked: Are you the gate keeper? Wait, no. When you were a larger guy (and porn master for your college), did you only own one pair of pants? I only see you hold up the same pair of pants wherever you go. Follow up question: Do the pants still have the Subway Smell™?
elvisbrady asked: When you lost all that weight, why didn't you lose the part that was a dork? Was it a marketing scheme by Subway?
freddashdog asked: Be honest, the meatball sub with bonus pepperoni slices was your idea, right?
Ask me questions... as if I was Jared from SUBWAY. →
I will answer on his behalf accordingly.
audioper asked: Dude. You have a cute kid. Good job.
i am your canadian boyfriend: An effete snob →
atsween:
In theatre school, we did the musical Working, based on the book by Studs Terkel. The book was based on his interviews with people about their jobs. Just regular people with regular jobs.
Near the end of the show, there’s a real tear-jerker of a number called “Fathers and Sons”. (Seriously —…
So weird. I did that musical in college, and played that part of the construction...
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Took the day off to take care of Molly.
Even with my alarm clock shut off, BOOM, awake at 6:30 am.
So this is who I am now.
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For Julie and Ben →
:)
Anonymous asked: I don't know why you are talking smack about Adrien Brody when you're pretty ugly yourself. :0)
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WHEN ADRIEN BRODY SEES A TREE BRANCH WITH GROUCHO...
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ADRIEN BRODY LOOKS LIKE A FIRST DAY CARICATURE...
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girl-detective asked: TAKE THAT BACK YOU FIEND!!!
Samsung thinking a stylus with a smart phone is...
They used that hot “new” song by ‘The Darkness.’
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Ten bucks says Cee-lo changes the lyrics to 'Like...
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Thanks to that seamless transition from 'Vogue' to...
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I better buy an original edition of 'Battleship,'...
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