Dubstep was invented to stop people from lazily...
Doctor Who as done by Rifftrax?! →
Someone got their peanut butter in my chocolate.
The Boy Scouts of America have just earned the...
Today's meeting was supposed to be on call model...
Me: Okay. First thing's first. Out of all John Hughes movies, which is superior. Breakfast Club... (pause for suspense) or Sixteen Candles?
Everyone: (Low whistle / rumblings and wide eyes)
The group grows more argumentative as I slip out on tip toes, before closing the door, I say four words:
Me: Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
I shut the door with the devil's smile just as the group bellows out.
Almost two hours later, a handful are still there, I hear someone say something along the lines of "Save Ferris." two are discussing Judd Nelson's "Hotness" I go to the white board and write: "Pretty in Pink."
Men: Dammit, John. This changes everything.
The Bacon Weave Quesadilla | DudeFoods.com Food... →
The Bacon Weave Quesadilla. A chicken and cheese quesadilla made with two bacon tortillas. PORN
I bet the deleted scenes of 'The Master' make up a...
Talk to the hand.– Hamburger Helper mascot’s butler to solicitors.
Justin Bieber states he is "An artist and should...
Somewhere, an employee at SUBWAY is clapping very, very slowly.
This monkey has gone to heaven...
My layoff date is coming up. I have officially checked out mentally of this place, but the work I do is still going to be of quality, because it’s not fair to saddle other people with my sloth and bitterness because of impending release. But when it comes to meetings, my attendance and input is mostly pointless. Considering I should be helming at least two more of these, I’ve...
I'm teaching my son humility because I AM THE...
In other news, America Online just purchased...
Thanks to ABC FAMILY, today I learned that any...
I was invited to a boat show, and I said "I only...
Suddenly an Ed Hardy shirt 2 sizes too small appeared on my torso.
Am I the only one who avoided Tumblr all day to avoid spoiling Doctor Who for me? Anyone OKAY EVERYONE SHUTUP WATCHING IT NOW
I need to go home
(At work, about to call vendor whose last name is spelled 'Pusey.' Dials phone)
Me: (to self) Okay, idiot. Pronounce it 'Puh-sigh.' Don't do it you moron. You're not 12. This is adulthood. 'Puh-sigh.' 'Puh-sigh.'
Person answers: Hello?
Me: Yes. May vagina speak to... um... Can I...
(Hangs up phone. Slowly pushes away from desk, quietly lays down on floor)
Winter is coming.– Assistant director on porn film, ‘Chad Winter’s Big Day at the Sorority’
Stream the entire brand The National album on... →
I passed all of my exams, except for Professor Gandalf’s. He’s such...– Students at Middle Earth University
It's beautiful when someone can reblog your post...
When that person posted recently that they hope a couple of people who pulled a prank will “kill themselves.” I’m more annoyed that they made me look up the spelling of ‘Hypocrite.’