January 2010
NEW YEAR’S HAIKU: Hell of a decade, but we made it in one piece. Bring on the New Year.
December 2009
WatchGoing through old blogs from Myspace and found this video of my now almost 4 year old daughter Molly. Yes, it’s her very FIRST steps. Yes, that’s a dog hand puppet in her mouth. And NO! YOU’RE the one who’s crying at work!
"I was halfway across America, at the dividing...
If you overhear anyone, I mean ANYONE who says they are “inspired” by those “GO FORTH” Levi Jeans ads, then please take the following steps: 1.) Grab them by the collar with your Left hand, then slap them quickly twice. This is done preferably in the manner where you bring your hand from Right to left and back again, so they get both your palm and back of your hand in a...
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True Story…
I was just painting my three...
The Last Word
cloudya:
Literally. I literally just typed the last word of my book. The last word, the last sentence, the last line. I put it down on internet paper and I hit “save”. And then I got all teary-eyed. And then I went and took a shower.
I’m not done. I still have a ton of edits and re-writes and fixes including removing a character that I decided halfway through I didn’t need and just sort of...
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Come Fly With Me.
The following is an account of what happened directly after would be bomber, Umar Farouk AbdulMutallab attempted to blow up an explosive device aboard an international flight into Detroit, Michigan, on Christmas Day. Most of the passengers have been evacuated and Umar has been led away by authorities. Sitting down, with his burnt hands being attended to by paramedics, Jasper Schuringa looks...
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The John Blog's TOP TEN Albums Of The Decade: #7
Coldplay - A Rush Of Blood To The Head Released: August 27, 2002 Go on, do it. Be the 1,000,000,000 person to make the same tired joke. “You know how I know you’re gay? Because you like Coldplay.” Go on and hate, but there is no denying it for me, this makes my list because it’s a phenomenal album. I will concede that CLOCKS had it’s legs cut out from under it...
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Rejected DIRECT TV Ads - Part 1
SCENE: Denzel Washington’s character Trip, getting whipped in the movie GLORY. (turns to camera) “They would stop whippin’ if they knew what HD channels Direct TV has!” (Tear slips from cheek)
The Morning After.
The tension headache was reduced to a dull ache after the second cup of coffee. He stood there, in his new DC comics superhero pajama pants, with no authority. It’s hard to be taken seriously by people of any age when you’re dressed that way, let alone by children. “SHARE your toys, you two!” “Please don’t put that in your mouth, it’s from CHINA.”
...
My favorite MOVIE of the decade?
Hands F**ng Down
…more on this later.
Making a Pierre
cloudya:
Every 6 months my husband and I convene and have The Baby Summit. It goes like this:
Him: You ready?
Me: No. You?
Him: No
Me: Okay I call this matter tabled for another 6 months. See you in December.
Done and done. It’s a no-brainer. I’m not the mother type. I can’t even remember to put deodorant on every morning. I have to keep a spare one in my desk at work.
This month,...
For those of you emailed me asking who David...
All is calm...
Hectic shopping…
Running out of time…
Bills piling…
But I live in North Texas. And it’s snowing… On X-mas Eve. So now, I can’t stop grinning.
Even Texas has the ability to defy predictability for the better sometimes.
I hope you and yours have a beautiful Christmas Eve.
-John
Listen
Are we still the good guys? he said. Yes. We're...
He pulled the boy closer. Just remember that the things you put into your head are there forever, he said. You might want to think about that. You forget some things, don’t you? Yes. You forget what you want to remember and you remember what you want to forget.
Dismiss the fact it won the Pulitzer, pay no mind to the big fat OPRAH book club sticker, and I definitely don’t need Viggo...
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WatchCan’t let Christmas go by without watching this one.
Oh... Snap. (hushed pause) I need a bowl of... →
Some of the best NINTENDO games, easily played in flash version on internets. Never knew this existed.
The John Blog's TOP TEN Albums Of The Decade: #8
Danger Mouse - The Grey Album Released: February 2004 I’ve never been a big fan of Jay-Z’s bragadaccio. When he released THE BLACK ALBUM in November of 2003, he was already a firmly established entrepreneur with his clothing line, a CEO of DEF JAM RECORDINGS and a net worth of just over $100 million. Good for him, but it really didn’t help the albums attempts to lure me in...
Jay Z's 99 Problems
emilywhitt:
1. As an African American, he often is a victim of racism and descrimination, especially in Southern venues 2. Hemorrhoids 3. Miley doesn’t listen to his music 4. Lil’ Mama 5. He wants to grow his nails out, but they keep cracking and splitting 6. There is no chapstick big enough for his lips 7. The Nets are 0-10 8. He wanted to be a country singer, but it didn’t work out 9. He’s 40...
How Brittany Murphy really died.
(Lights up) DEATH returns home to The Missus: Death: Man, what a day! I got that Brittany chick you’ve been on my ass to take care of. Mrs. Death: Well, people expected it, so what can you do? Death: I still don’t get that. Why would anyone expect Brittany Murphy? She was a bit kooky, but… Mrs. Death: Wait, WHAT? Say that again! Death: What, “kooky?” That’s...
R. to the I.P.
Now she’s “Rollin’ with the Homies” … in heaven. *Sob* (Srsly? Doesn’t matter the circumstances. WAY too young.) R.I.P. Brittany Murphy
http://bit.ly/5wyCTL