February 2010
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Weathering The Storm
My daughter Molly was born on February 12, 2006. The problem was that she was supposed to be born in early APRIL. Luckily, we knew she was going to be a preemie a long time before. My wife was told that because my son Alex was premature, Molly’s chances of being premature were at 50%. She was a tiny 5 lbs. 10 ½ ounces, but bigger than anticipated due to precautions and steroid shots my wife...
TEN things I learned by watching "Alvin & The...
10. The lack of pants on chipmunks is not disturbing as a cartoon. On semi photo-realistic animals, very uncomfortable squirming and unexplained arousal may occur.
9. Jason Lee got by with a barely there cameo in this one, but I still find it hard to forgive him. Zachary Levi, you’re NO Jason Lee. Hell, Jason Lee is no Jason Lee anymore. (See: MALLRATS again for proof, and as a...
January 2010
“I know some day you’ll have a beautiful life, I know you’ll be...”
If Tyler Durden was a women, he would nod his head...
I’ve been seeing a lot of posts lately where lovely ladies are fretting about how they look. “I need to lose weight” or “I know I’m not pretty.” Things like that. Let me tell you something. You are not defined by the way you looked in High School, or a few years ago, before you had kids, any of that. You don’t have to look like Jessica Biel, or America’s Next Top Model.
Don’t let anyone tell...
Tony.
I have a sister who is 8 years old my senior.
Her and I had a rough relationship due to the age gap, but more on that some other day.
See, I also lived next door to my cousin, Tony, who is almost exactly a year younger than me. When we were kids, we watched MTV all the time and once I made an announcement: Me: I can predict what video comes on MTV whenever I want, I just don’t tell...
Hot Buttery Goodness...
I think I just got into a breakfast food flirting exchange.
If this gets any more sexier I just may end up getting oatmeal everywhere.
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Is there a Goomba trying to get you to follow him...
Have you seen the bridge?
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Wow...crazy dream....?
navywifeandmom:
(Edited from original for commercial time.)
JohnBlog….I hope you are happy. You are now invading my dreams.
So, we go into this little bar/cafe and who is sitting at the table next to us but TheJohnBlog (and in my dream, that was your ACTUAL name…lmao) ….
….he tries to introduce me to this very obviously rich, Swedish looking chic sitting at his table and she...
Sometimes we forget the little things...
Friday - January 29th, 2010- Oval Office : 11:42am Biden: Mr. President. Obama: Joe! Good Morning. Well, tough road ahead of us. Biden: Yessir! But at least we had no “outbursts” at Wednesday’s speech! (They both laugh heartily for close to a minute solid) Obama: So, was Wilson upset after you let him go? Biden: (Stops laughing, eyes widen) Obama: You DID let him go, right?...
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Want to see a year's worth of Strength, Sweetness...
I get why some people don’t believe in God, but after getting to know this girl you WILL believe in angels.
Happy Birthday Lucy Kate Hopkins!
http://teenytinyhopkins.blogspot.com/
Hmmm. Too obscure?
Got some emails saying that the FUCK YOU I posted to my anonymous questioner was a bit harsh. Did no one notice it the word FUCK YOU was in parentheses? I think some Salinger fans got it, but I really need to stop thinking EVERYONE knows my little inside jokes.
Better clean the palate.
Beatle Bomb.
Best. Photo Bomb.
EVER.
Anonymous asked: Dude. I know you liked his writing, but why cry over Salinger if you never met him personaly? By the way this isn't that doushbag that emailed you anonymously before.
“I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect...
THIS man.
This man is the reason I am a writer.
And now he’s gone.
My “dad” took off when I was child. I got over THAT in my early teens. But after reading the news, I feel like I just lost my “father.” It’s o.k. Real men can still cry in stairwells at work right? RIGHT?
“Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.”
J.D. Salinger - The Catcher In The Rye.
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Oh, hai!
Great.
I’ve been a huge fan of Angela Black’s Tumblr since she danced all “Jazz handy” to Yeah Yeah Yeah’s “ZERO” and I just got an email that she’s ACTUALLY following me now… And the first post she most likely saw just told her what underwear I have on right now. Internet is now the new “Twilight Zone.”
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Snug
Recently I posted a pic of my DC Comics Pajama pants I got for Christmas. What I DIDN’T tell you is I also gots me a sweet pair of adult sized underoos. Below, the actual pair that yes… I’m wearing right now. Now, for all of you dry heaving into your corn flakes. Don’t hate.
All I can say is (Licks index finger, arches it behind back at weird angle and places tip on...
you are entering another dimension
inthefade:
You know why I hate when twitter makes me invisible? Because I know what’s really happening. I’m not stupid. I grew up watching Twilight Zone and Outer Limits. I recognize the plot here.
First I disappear on twitter. Then my tumblr posts start disappearing. Then one day I come home from work and my kids don’t know who I am. Todd has me arrested for being a crazed stalker. I walk...
WatchBroken Bells - The Lead singer of THE SHINS & Danger Mouse. This is their first single. This Album. Me want. VERY excite. *Mmmpphllrgg* <—- Me choking on tongue.
"Can you introduce me to Sween?"
tj:
Perhaps the funniest thing said to me this weekend was when someone asking me to introduce her to Sween, which is not unlike being asked to introduce someone to a puppy.
Not that Sween is a puppy. Although he does like to chew on shoes and occasionally piddles on the floor. And loves to have his belly rubbed. And he’s a good boy. Yes he is.
But he is, in all sincerity, one of the nicest...
"Baaahhhh! Baaahhhh!"
I saw someone started a thing where people are posting their “25 things” from Facebook. At first I scoffed at it, thinking it to be lazy, but then again, when you have Myspace, Facebook, Twitter and now Tumblr, it’s hard to keep track of just how much of yourself you’ve put out there so people can know you better. Long story short, I got NOTHING this morning, so here was...
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Space - "A 52 Weeks Thing" Collaboration
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“Don’t fiddle with your nails, you’re going to ruin them Shannon Nicole!” Shannon Nicole. That’s what mom called her when she was younger. It was the standard parents’ way of indicating displeasure. Invoking the middle name. But she couldn’t remember the last time her mother simply used just her first name or something like, “Sweetie,” or...
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