March 2012
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February 2012
4 tags
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I have to call an attorney named Mr. (redacted)...
Me: (to self) Okay... You can do this... deep breath. Just remember, you're an adult. Hell, you got this! You're a grown ass man...
(Picks up phone, dials...)
Receptionist: Good afternoon, (redacted) and associates
Me: Hello! Mr. Asshat, plea...DAMMIT, WRONG NUMBER I'M SORRY I SWEAR, I HAVE A 401K AND EVERYTHING
(throws phone across desk, slowly, oh so slowly, introduces forehead to desk)
After eating that meatball sandwich, SUBWAY has...
:(
1 tag
This is here because I'm sending it as a clip blah...
cloudya:
Have I told you guys lately that I love you? I do, it’s true. Anyway, you know the drill. Feel free to ignore…
The Tower stood in the center of the walled city of Aubergnon like a sentinel. It reached up to the sky in a symphony of symmetry and perfect angles. It had been built on a foundation of careful planning, and over the years, it had come to symbolize the people and culture...
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UPDATE
She won.
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If you don't get it, it's not my fault.
(swinging at the park next to my daughter, I jump off and take a breather. Other dad in bluetooth and visor scoffs...)
Him: Heh. You know as a rule, guys aren't supposed to actually play on the equipment with their kids.
Me: Yeah? Maybe not guys... but dads are.
(I run off, cause apparently it's 'Hide N' Go Seek,' and this dude needs a minute to pick up his face.)
I'm a driver, I'm a winner.
Things are gonna change.
I can feel it.
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I just saw a racist tweet get 100 "favs" and all I...
.
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Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl,
but she doesn’t have a lot to say.
Her Majesty’s a pretty nice girl but she changes from day to day.
I want to tell her that I love her a lot But I gotta get a belly full of wine.
Her Majesty’s a pretty nice girl. Someday I’m going to make her mine,
oh yeah,
Someday I’m going to make her mine.
If I was a Transformer I wouldn't wait in this...
Look, just get your manager.
“At the end of the day, love and compassion will win.”
– Terry Waite
2 tags
“They had a photograph… a lousy...
2 tags
A dear friend has pointed me in the direction of a...
I'm at the park and saw a toddler running around...
I was so appalled, I tripped over my daughter’s leash.
I just saw the lead singer of Digital Underground...
:(
2 tags
I accidentally took a Dayquil last night instead...
Should have read the label.
1 tag
Secret Tumblr Message
Don’t you dare believe that. You don’t have questions enabled on your blog, so hopefully you see this. You are not broken. You are not “ruined” for men. I’ve been there. I promise, and no sarcasm intended: It get’s better. I promise.